Family

On the first of August this year, a bill will be put into action in Minnesota allowing same sex marriage in the state. Up to that point two people of the same sex were unable to be given the same right as “traditional” heterosexual couples. Previously homosexual couples were not given the same rights as married couples and were not in the eyes of the government considered a family.

 What is a family? By definition a family is a social unit consisting of parents and there children dwelling together or not. In this definition of family there is nothing saying “Mother and Father” or that the parents must be married. This means that the core family is not about marriage it is about supporting each other and raising children in a nurturing environment.

 Just because the government doesn't recognize a marriage between two people of the same sex doesn't mean that they have not been a part of their own family. In the United States at this time the image of a family is changing and some people are having trouble accepting this. The image that people have in their mind of a mother and a father raising their own flesh and blood is starting to transform. Two men and two women can raise children and be the core members of a family. Just because the children that they are raising are not their own fresh and blood doesn't mean that the same core values are not present in the family.

 Family can also be a part community. In my family we have no relatives who live any closer than Cleveland, Ohio. Because of this we have formed a family with the people in our church and the neighborhood in which we live. The church I belong to is small so we know just about everyone. I know that if I ever need anything the people of my church would be there to help me. The same goes for my neighborhood. My parents have surrounded us with friends who are always looking out for us and supporting us in whatever we do. None of these people are my flesh and blood but the relationship that I have with them is one of a family.

Impressions

The first situation that came to mind when reading this blog assignment about our impressions on others occurred in this class. On the first day of class, everyone was supposed to introduce themselves to the group in a few quick sentences. I can personally say that I tried to write something that wouldn't embarrass me or make me appear stupid. I wrote three to four sentences about myself, where I was from, what I did outside of school, and had my mom check to make sure I didn't have any misspelled words or little mistakes like that. Although sending that quick little blurb about myself doesn't come close to giving people an idea of who I am or what I am like to be around, it felt like I was going up in front of the class and introducing myself to them, which is something I am sure we have all experienced.

When going about my day to day life I fail to notice all of the times that I have similar experiences. I try to do my best to leave a good impression on people where ever I go, but why is this? If I am at a gas station, in the middle of no where in Texas, why do I want the gas station attendant to have a good impression of me? Chances are that I will never see this person again and no matter how I interact with them I will get the same result of walking away with two Nestle double chocolate milks and a full tank of gas for the road trip I am on.

I can’t say for sure why I try to leave a good impression on people. Maybe it’s because of the way I was raised? My dad always makes small talk with the people he interacts with on a day to day basis whether it is the cashier at a grocery store or one of the athletes that he trains as a coach. Maybe it’s because I hope that if I leave a good impression on people it will make their day a little better and they will do the same for someone else like in the movie “Pay it Forward”?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pCtXRP1edo

All I know is that for some reason I believe in trying to leave a good impression of myself on others no matter who the person is.

Culture

I find culture to be a very interesting concept. It’s kind of like our nose. It is right in front of us but we never notice it unless we are told to notice it. Culture shapes our perspective on life and what we think of different actions and ideas. Culture is the reason why we shake hands when greeting someone and why we stand when the national anthem plays at a sporting event.

http://www.endlesssimmer.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/tailgaters_00057-1024x682.jpg

When I was reading the section of the book that talked about different cultures and their customs, it reminded me of the theory of evolution. Every living thing on this Earth is the way it is because of what has happened to its ancestors that shaped it into what we see today. For a giraffe to have a long neck it had to evolve over thousands of years. But the animal that we think of as a giraffe could be a very different animal if something as simple as a lack of trees thousands of years ago caused it to eat grass. The same goes for our culture. Cultures vary all around the world. What is normal here in Minnesota could be looked down upon in Alabama because of the different beliefs and ways of life that cultures have.  Everything that happens to the people of a certain region changes their culture in a small way just like evolution. This is why every culture is different in some small way from other cultures and why other cultures seem so unusual.

http://www.kenya-information-guide.com/image-files/culture-safari-in-kenya.jpg

Cultures are different because of what they have gone through and I think the fact that there are many different cultures is what makes life interesting. Many people look down on cultures different from there own. They constantly compare them to what we find to be normal and/or right.  I enjoy other cultures. I have traveled to Asia and Europe and have been able to experience these different cultures and I loved it. Different food and customs are things that I welcomed. I think that if there weren’t different cultures there would be nothing exciting about going to new places and there would be nothing new to try in life. Culture not only represents who we are now, it represents what we have been through and where we are going. It gives us something to be proud of and something to admire in others.

Your Turn Study

The “Your Turn” study that I did involved breaching personal space of someone else. My brother had a friend over who I knew but we aren't what you would call friends. Going into this I was a little nervous because I had no idea how he was going to react or whether or not it would be awkward or not.

            At dinner I sat very close to him breaching his personal bubble. When I was doing this I felt a kind awkward simple because it didn't feel “right”, I could tell that my brother’s friend had noticed how close I was to him and was uncomfortable about it as well. After a few moments when he noticed I wasn't moving he tried to scoot away from me a little bit. You could tell he was trying not to bring any attention to the situation and was simply trying to remove himself and make the situation “normal” again. When he did this I tried to scoot closer to him again when I sat back down after getting up. This time I found it to be more awkward because he had a quicker reaction and asked me to give him some room. I did and that was the end of it.

            Looking back at the “test” and observing what was happening I realized how programmed we are to what is normal. When a group of people sit down at a table that is not particularly crowded you are expected to give people a fair amount of space. But what is considered a fair amount of space? And why when a table is crowded do the rules change? I often have to sit at a crowded table because of the size of my family (there are 5 of us who are all at least 6 feet tall sit at a table that should only sit 4) do the rules change. I don’t find it to be to unusual to sit a table where you are touching elbows with the person next to you.  It’s interesting to think about how little things like the size of a table or the number of people sitting at it can change the norms that we follow when sitting at it.

            When reflecting on this test I started to think about the other unspoken norms in everyday life. I often rode the city bus home from school and there are many norms on the bus. People are expected to be quiet and keep to themselves when on the bus. The bus driver never has the radio on which keeps the bus even more quiet. You don’t sit next to someone unless there are no seats available and even then it is sometimes more gracious to simply stand. Looking back on these norms I wonder how my outlook on riding the bus would have been if people were expected to talk to each other and the bus driver could have music playing in the background.

Mind Over Matter

The saying of “Mind over Matter” is one that has been tossed around in my house ever since I can remember. I have grown up in a family of athletes. Most of my childhood I participated in three different sports year round along with my two brothers. Both of my parents were division 1 athletes and my dad is a strength and conditioning coach. Currently the most important thing in my life outside of school is Speedskating. I have been skating for almost half of my life. I train year round and compete at an international level. Skating is not a sport that you can be good at simply by having more talent than everyone else, you have to be willing to work harder and be tougher than everyone else.

My dad, who is one of my coaches, has always reminded me of the power of our brains. Our brains are what keep an average level speedskater for being one of the best in the world. The brain is what tells you to stop in the middle of a workout using lactic acid by setting fire to you legs or tells you not to get out of bed in the morning to go to an ice workout because you are hurting from the two workouts you did the day before. If you are strong enough mentally, you can use you brain to your advantage as well. Professional cyclist Yens Voigt says it perfectly in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RahvWjoU9Xc

If you can use your mind to push through pain you can do incredible things and get to that next level as an athlete. To me that is what is meant by "Mind over Matter".  Pushing through the pain and discomfort and coming out on top a winner in the sense that you gave everything you had and a little big extra on top of that

In the year 2007 I was 12 years old and there were four events that would have a large impact on my life over the coming years. The events were the Iraq war, the presidential race at the time and the 35W bridge collapse. Although I might have not realized it at the time these event would have impacts on my day to day life for a period of time.

The Iraq War had an effect on my life because of the money it cost people. President Bush announced that it would cost the country an estimated $1 trillion. This would mean an increase in taxes which for a middle class family like mine had a big impact. At that time both of my parents were working to send my older brother and eventually myself thought a private high school which in itself meant that we had to cut back on some luxuries in life.

Photo By: Carolyn Cole

http://framework.latimes.com/2010/08/18/the-iraq-war/#/0

The second event that would impact me in the year 2007 was the Presidential race that was starting up. In the race at that time were 2 people who, if they won, would be the first of their type to be our commander in chief. The first was a woman and the second was an African American man. Although I don’t consider myself as someone who is sexist or racist the fact that our country had come to that point was something that I believe had an effect on us all. It was no longer a time where your sex or the color of your skin could hold you back like it once did. It also would have an effect on my out look on politics. I only had memories of George Bush as president and I had no real idea of what kind of changes would happen when his term in office ended. It would evidentially bring increased taxes, the end to a war in Afghanistan and stricter gun laws.

http://www.panamericanonline.com/so-why-should-we-vote/

The third event that had an effect on my life at that time was the 35W bridge collapse. When the bridge that went over the Mississippi into Minneapolis collapsed, killing 13 people, I was at my home in St. Paul just five miles away. When any catastrophic event like this takes place it has an effect on you no matter where you live. But living just five miles away it really hit home. Watching the footage of the people injured on the bridge and knowing that I had friends who had been on the bridge that same day it really bring you closer to the people around you. You wake up every morning feeling like nothing like that will ever happen that close to you and yet it did. To this day whenever I drive over that bridge I think of what it would have felt like to be on the bridge when it fell and what would I have done if I was still alive when the dust settled. It gave me appreciation for what I had, the people around me that I loved, and a respect for the unknown in life.

http://www.america2050.org/2007/08/minnesota-bridge-collapse-unde-2.html

When in the midst of events in our lives we don’t realize until later the effect they will have on our lives. When I think back to the kid in middle school, that I was at that time, I had no idea the impact these events that didn’t involve me in anyway shape or form would have on my life in the years to follow.